


Gin and God

by funcore (orphan_account)



Category: The Yogscast
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Past Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-16 21:55:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28589127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/funcore
Summary: Xephos copes with the recent death of Honeydew in his own stupid, dramatic way, or, OP sees a group of frames of Xephos chugging gin in a potential post-Honeydew-death scene in that one Moonquest animation and runs with it.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 2





	Gin and God

Xephos set the bottle of gin down on his lacquered desk, swiveling his chair towards the moonlit window that was bathing his extravagant office in pale light. What else was he going to do? He didn’t want to, he needed to. The last couple of days had been a cold blur of paperwork and hazard meetings and testing. The world felt muted, dangerous, foreign. The very corridors he organized the construction of felt unfamiliar without Honeydew by his side.

He turned his gaze back to the clear bottle sitting unopened on his desk. He hadn’t even bothered with a glass, apparently. The spaceman took the container in his grip and started fiddling at the thin metal cap. Honeydew wouldn’t like to see him like this, but to hell with it. It wasn’t like he was drinking in the Cloning Bay, and those frozen eyes wouldn’t see shit anyway. " _Probably wouldn’t see ever again,_ " the Yoglabs CEO thought bitterly. Xephos ignored the hitch in his breath, ripped off the cap, and pressed the rim of the bottle to his lips. 

There was that old taste of juniper and fire that made the spaceman shudder as it rolled down his throat, and he felt his eyes threatening to tear up from the...the bitter taste. He pushed the feeling aside and gripped the bottle’s neck tighter as he threw his head back again, emptying the small bottle of gin as fast as he could. " _I’m drinking to stop feeling, for God’s sake, not the other way ‘round,_ " he admonished himself as the liquor slipped down.

He gagged from the taste and set the empty container down on the floor. " _‘God.’ What a stupid thought._ " He couldn’t help the dramatics. What kind of God puts someone like Honeydew on Earth just to take him out? The spaceman rose from his seat, choosing not to confront the question. He stormed back to the liquor cabinet before the stupor set in, tore another bottle, larger this time, out of its place and fell back down in the chintzy leather chair he had chosen for himself however many years ago.

" _I’d make a better god than the bastard in the position currently,_ " Xephos mused angrily, furiously tearing at the plastic covering of his second bottle. Access to the precious gin was granted as the cap and its wrappings gave way, and the spaceman took another generous swig. “I’ll be better than God. I’ll put him back, I’ll set him right. He’ll -- Honeydew’ll cheat death like we always have,” he said aloud this time to the empty chair in front of him. “Better than God,” he repeated, nodding to himself. “In fact, I could set it _all_ right, I’ll bet,” Xephos announced haughtily to his quiet office. “Take this stupid cruel world n’ put it in good hands -- _my_ hands, that is -- for once, that’s what I’d do.”

For a ghost of a moment the spaceman remembered a time where he did not find this world stupid, nor cruel, but new and beautiful. When he landed on that bay of ice-licked waves and frost-touched sand for the first time, when he staved off the dark with a dozen lit torches smoking up the cavern walls, when he watched the interior of his ramshackle home burn while laughing in his panic, the world was something dangerous and unfair, yes, but most importantly wondrous. All he was missing was Honeydew.

Again he spitefully pushed his thoughts away, feeling nostalgia and grief threaten to slip out of his chest along with the gin. Xephos seemed to challenge his own body back, sending another wave of clear alcohol slithering down his gullet like a threat. He slammed the bottle of thick glass onto his desk with a thud that suggested the onset of fine motor dysfunction before reaching out to a framed photo that had sat facing him since day one of Yoglabs’ inception: he, Honeydew, and Lalna beaming into the camera on a bright, sunny day. Xephos thought to ask himself if they had all really looked that young once or if it was simply alcohol smearing his vision, but thought better of it. He stared into Honeydew’s dark eyes for a few seconds.

And that was it.

Anger melted to despair, and he hugged the wood-and-glass rectangle to his chest, pressing it deep into the fabric of his shirt as tears began to fall heavier than he had allowed them to fall in years. It was disgusting, it was cruel, and it was fate. " _To hell with fate, too,_ " the spaceman thought to himself through the waves of sobs that rocked his body before he finally felt the fog of dissociation take hold of him again. Xephos didn’t care what god he’d have to usurp and he didn’t care how many threads of fate he’d have to tear out and rearrange.

He would get Honeydew back.

**Author's Note:**

> uhh i subscribe to the headcanon/theory that yoglabs takes place after soi so that's what some of this is.. some parts are intended to be sowing seeds for xephos's weird god complex that develops post clone lab ep
> 
> what is wrong with me. dont even look at me im insane. god what is this please like and comment <3 lol


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